


A Wife's Place

by Grenoelle, LPSunnyBunny



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Dubious Consent, Everything else is DirkJake, Explicit Rape is Dirk/OMC, Forced Feminization, Forced Pregnancy, Gaslighting, Impregnation, M/M, Misgendering, POV Alternating, RP-Style Formatting, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Slurs, Threats of Violence, Trans Male Dirk Strider, Transphobia, detransitioning, traditional gender roles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:33:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27570841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grenoelle/pseuds/Grenoelle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LPSunnyBunny/pseuds/LPSunnyBunny
Summary: Jake really does love Dirk, but he thinks it's high time that Dirk stops all this nonsense and fancy about being a man. Jake's indulged it for long enough, but it's time for them to settle down and start having a family together.The tags are not a joke and should be taken seriously. If you proceed, having read the tags and understand what content this fic will cover, then that is your own decision. If you do not enjoy sexualized transphobia and abuse, then you should not read this fic.
Relationships: Dirk Strider/Original Male Character(s), Jake English/Dirk Strider
Comments: 29
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Didn't think it had to be said, but apparently people have problems making distinctions between fiction and reality.
> 
> Neither of the authors condone anything that happens in the fic. Dirk and Jake are not real and are not harmed by this story. If you do not like this kind of content, then DO NOT READ IT. If you read it anyway, having checked the tags and warnings attached to this story, then that is not the responsibility of the authors.

Dirk generally considers himself a lucky guy. Yeah, his earlier life sucked pretty fucking hard, but it got miles better once he turned 18 and moved out, so he supposes that everyone’s got their fair share of shit sandwich to get through before they can have actual fucking food.

He lives with his boyfriend Jake in an apartment they rent together, a decently sized one for two broke dudes, and they manage well enough that they’re never really worried about getting kicked to the street if either of them loses their job.

It’s only recently that Dirk’s finally been able to go on T- between fighting with the insurance companies to cover it and finding a doctor who would be able to prescribe it and then jumping through their shitty hoops to say that yes, fuck off, he really is a guy can he please get his man sauce to slather on his fucking shoulders already.

A side effect of T, though, is that Dirk gets really really fucking horny. Something his wonderful boyfriend has absolutely no compulsions with helping out with.

Sometimes Dirk really just wants to have Jake fuck him in his cunt- but the idea of getting pregnant leaves him cold and shaking, and nine times out of ten the dysphoria kills what mood he has left, so- cue Jake being an incredible boyfriend and always fucking him up the ass, no matter how he might whine and ask to fuck Dirk’s cunt.

Dirk’s let him do it a couple of times before, and each time it’s always been one of the best, most dizzying orgasms of his life- but he always feels such a sense of terror and  _shame_ afterwards, and it seems like it only eggs Jake on to ask about doing it more.

Jake hates condoms, after all- he always complains that they make sex feel worse- but if he’s fucking Dirk in his cunt then they are non-negotiable and Jake pouts every time. It’s adorable, but Dirk stands firm.

He is  _not_ getting pregnant.

Currently, he’s gripping their headboard, on his knees as Jake fucks into him from behind- and his cunt is fucking  _throbbing_ , wanting something inside of it- but there is  _no_ way Jake would stop long enough to put a condom on, so Dirk has to deal with the dizzying pleasure of his boyfriend’s thick cock fucking him open as well as the throbbing  _need_ in his core.

“Fuck, Jake-” Dirk moans, hanging his head and gripping the headboard harder. “Feels- fuck- feels so fucking good-” He pants, managing to unwrap a hand from the headboard and reach down to furiously grind against his dick, and he’s thankful he’s kneeling because his knees would _absolutely_ collapse under this assault of pleasure. “Come on, Jake, I want it- _fuck_ -”

  
  


Jake loves Dirk.

He loves Dirk so much, he can’t bear to watch him destroy himself. By now they’ve been dating for a few years, and since they’ve been living together, images of a traditional marriage have crossed Jake’s mind more than a couple times. Dirk’s persistent with his brand of nonsense that runs counter to those images, but the truth remains obvious. Dirk isn’t really a  _man_ . And Jake can only really keep up the delusions so long; eventually Dirk needs to grow up and accept his place as Jake’s beautiful wife.

“Ah, hold on now, I got’cha, Dirk-”

Jake’s pounding into Dirk with his ever-boundless energy, happy to keep up with his dearest’s heightened libido. Dirk’s stubborn about him using a rubber if he’s not going in the ass, but dammit, how long do they have to keep this up? Dirk clearly loves it when Jake fucks him like a proper girl. Even now, Jake can tell that Dirk can’t resist his instinct. A cunt’s meant to take cock, it craves it.

  
  


As Jake thrusts harder and more focused into his ‘boyfriend’, a thought crosses his mind. Maybe actively being bred is really what Dirk  _needs_ to understand and accept his place. It’s not a particularly new thought, but it strikes him more powerfully in this moment. Just going along with his fantasies hasn’t helped Dirk yet, right?

Jake takes his left hand off of his darling’s hip and between his legs between thrusts. Dirk is  _so_ fucking wet, with threads of slick dripping and leaking down his legs. With every push of his hips, more wetness spills out. What a wonderful, natural thing. Jake groans, feeling himself getting unbearably close.

He decides to do it.

For Dirk’s own good. For them. For their future.

Jake pulls himself out and lifts Dirk up just enough to thrust into his dear ‘boyfriend’s’ cunt instead. That’s where he belongs, and if he can just- he Jake forcefully holds him close and finishes inside him.

“Ah, there we are,” he whispers out in a low, husky voice. Jake’s grip loosens, allowing Dirk to do as he pleases now that he’s received what he needed.

  
  


Dirk moans, low and desperate as Jake fucks him, his gut tight, he’s  _so_ fucking close, so-  _god_ , his boyfriends hands on his body are rough and warm and hold him so firm- his back arches as Jake picks up the pace, fucks harder.

“Yes, _god_ , Jake-” Dirk hisses out a breath, only to gasp in shock as Jake’s hand finds his cunt and rubs. " _God,_ baby, come on, I’m so fucking close-"

Jake pulls him up and Dirk thinks  _yes, fuck yes-_

Jake pulls back and shoves into Dirk’s cunt and Dirk  _spasms_ at the sudden stretch, filling him up perfectly right where his body  _aches_ for it and he gasps, eyes going wide.

“Whhhat-” He tries to say but his cunt is _throbbing_ , filled and fucked open on his boyfriend’s cock and his eyes roll back as he cums, jerking and gasps.

Jake came inside.

Jake  _came inside_ . Dirk can feel the heat deep inside and his heart stops, scrambling forwards and shoving Jake off.

“Jake, what the fuck?!” Dirk snaps, his brain fuzzy from the orgasm Jake had just fucked out of him. “You- You _know_ I’m not on birth control- jesus fuck!”

  
  


Ah, he half expected that, but it still shocks Jake to have Dirk pushing away so aggressively. He’s only trying to help!

“Hey now, no need to throw a fit.” Jake tries to remain stoic, calm, in the face of Dirk’s high emotion. He knew Dirk was resistent, but it’s alright, it’s alright. “You were practically begging for it there! Look at you, still making a mess. What kind of man would I be if I didn’t help you out?” Jake, for once, shows a surprising amount of tact, and decides not to mention how much of a blessing it would be if he were to get pregnant from that. He’s confident that would be the solution for Dirk. No female can resist the pure joy of fulfilling their body’s primary purpose of creating life, after all!

  
  


“Jake-” Dirk exhales in frustration. He loves his boyfriend, he really does- but sometimes he’s so fucking _dense_. "I’ve _told_ you before- if you’re going to be- ugh, you _have to wear a condom._ " He fumbles for their tissues, grabbing them and starting to clean himself up as a disgusting, clawing feeling rises up in his throat.

“Fuck- Jake, go get me some fucking plan B, I’m not gonna take any chances.” Dirk says. He hates how good it felt for Jake to do that- his cunt is still _throbbing_ with need.

  
  


“I don’t think I want to,” Jake admits, looking aside. Okay, he can only control himself so much. “What’s so bad about having kids? How long do we need to pretend that’s not what we want?” He grabs one of Dirk’s thighs firmly. “Gee, just look at you! You oughtta play nice and lean back like you really want.”

He stares back into Dirk’s pretty, vulnerable eyes and pushes forward a little. The resistance is getting so frustrating! “Come on, stop that. You don’t need to be ashamed! I can’t have you hurting yourself and denying your own pleasure!”

  
  


Dirk’s heart lurches at Jake’s denial, and his stomach drops out of his stomach at Jake’s proclamation that they  _do_ want kids.

Jake’s hand, normally so reassuring and grounding, feels like a vice grip on Dirk’s leg, a hot brand.

“My own- Jake, what the fuck?!” Dirk scoots back a little more, his shoulders shoving against the headboard. “Did you fucking hit your head or something- what are you fucking talking about?”

  
  


This isn’t going over very well at all- but goshdarnit, who else was going to draw a line? As Dirk scoots away, Jake moves forward in turn. He’s smiling,  _trying_ to be reassuring and gentle.

“Don’t be silly, hun.“ His left hand stays firm on Dirk’s thigh while his right works to bring his erection back again. “I’m just listening to your body- something you ought to do a little more, if I’m being quite honest.” Dirk’s little cunt’s gaping, dripping with Jake’s cum and begging to be filled with more. He _wants_ this, no matter how he struggles and protests.

  
  


Jake is pressing forward as Dirk moves back and it means that Dirk is getting trapped against the headboard and his heartbeat is kicking up in an uneasy pound. The smile on Jake’s face, normally so handsome and reassuring, feels menacing and strange.

Dirk feels dizzy, he doesn’t understand what’s happening, where all of this is coming from- it’s like someone opened Jake’s skin up and swapped him with a completely different person when Dirk wasn’t looking.

“Jake,” Dirk says, forcing himself to stay calm no matter how he wants to hyperventilate, watching Jake jerk himself off to get hard again. “get off me. I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but I _don’t like it._ Go get me some plan B and we’ll put this-” he makes a vague gesture motioning between the two of them, “-behind us and just forget about it, okay?”

  
  


Jake’s smile twitches uncomfortably. He wants nothing more than to make Dirk happy- and he  _knows_ how, he  _knows_ if Dirk just let all this nonsense go he could be his full, pretty wife.

“Alright, fine, I’ll get some for you! Gosh, Dirk, can’t you stop being all uptight. It’s not like you.”

As soon as he’s hard enough, he lifts his right hand to pin Dirk solidly in place where the mattress and headboard meet. Dirk’s pretty legs are quivering, beckoning him. Jake presses the tip against his ‘boyfriend’s’ entrance teasingly, ready to give him all he wants. “Now just admit you’re not done either so I can help you out. I’d hate to mistakenly hurt you or somesuch.”

  
  


Dirk sighs a little in relief as Jake says he’ll get some- but then he’s right back to being tense as Jake pins him to the headboard.

His body feels hot, tight, as he stares up at Jake, strung like a wire as he feels Jake’s dick press against the entrance of his cunt again.

“Jake-” He tries, but words are failing him. His cunt _throbs_ with need, with the idea of Jake ‘helping him out’- but he- he doesn’t want it.

But. He came so fucking hard on Jake’s dick. And Jake’ll get him Plan B, so he won’t get pregnant.

He swallows. Something about- the  _everything_ of the situation is making him feel hot, his chest feel tight (and not just from his binder). “I.” Jakes expression feels so menacing, but- he’s just smiling. He just wants to fuck his boyfriend.

_I’d hate to mistakenly hurt you_ . Jake won’t take no for an answer. Dirk’ll get Plan B. It’s fine. It’s fine- right? Jake is his boyfriend, he wouldn’t actually…  _hurt_ Dirk.

“Okay.” Dirk whispers and he can feel his insides clench at the idea of getting fucked _properly_. It’s dizzying and he feels a familiar disconnect come over him, like he’s not quite there all the way.

  
  


”Good,” says Jake, low and pleasant. And then, with no further warning, he pushes forward. Dirk’s hit by his cock with blunt force, and yet he opens up so lovingly, the way only a dutiful girlfriend would. It’s wet but coarse, perfectly tight but not with too much resistance. Not that resistance would really stop Jake. “Ah, doesn’t it feel good to give in a little? Fuck, Dirk-” Jake works up a rhythm, keeping a careful eye on how his ‘boyfriend’ reacts.

What a lovely sight it is, Dirk pushed up on his back, legs splayed and just beckoning for more. It would be even better if Dirk could take off that damned binder, but that would come with time.

  
  


Dirk feels like his cunt gets punched open as Jake shoves in with no warning. It’s a hot, thick stretch and he gasps, mouth falling open, as a deep, shameful pleasure pulses into his gut.

He grabs at Jake, his hands finding Jake’s shoulders- but he doesn’t know if he’s trying to cling to him or shove him away. “I- No, fuck- wait-” He gasps, discomfort pinging through him like a ping-pong ball in a wind tunnel- “Jake, fuck-” He bites back a moan as Jake’s cock thrusts deep into him, slamming against his cervix and making his gut  _throb_ .

It feels like he’s not quite there- he can feel the heady pleasure from Jake’s dick fucking him open, raw and dangerous and his head is  _spinning_ from the feeling of it- but everything feels hazy and disconnected and Dirk  _doesn’t like it_ .

“Baby- I don’t-” He chokes out, legs shaking as he squirms, tries to pull away- but he’s trapped against the headboard, he’s got nowhere to _go_.

  
  


Ah, typical. Dirk splutters nonsensically in protest, as if his cunt isn’t enthusiastically swallowing him whole.

“Rock with me, honey,” he coos, voice so gentle in contrast with his movement. Dirk still seems to squirm irregularly, so Jake guides him into his rhythm by pulling up his hips in sync with his thrusts. That undoubtably feels better for the both of them. Encouraged by the feeling, he gets just a little more brutal with Dirk, until…

“Almost there?” He asks, followed by a forceful grunt. Jake is always happy to go on for as long as Dirk needs, but he prefers when they finish together. He thinks it’s rather rather romantic- bad especially important now! Dirk’s got to feel amazing while his long-term boyfriend inseminates him for things to start getting fixed, after all.

  
  


Dirk squirms and trembles at the feeling of his cunt being fucked open so roughly, but Jake’s voice is gentle and soft and loving- it’s twisting him up, stealing his words, stealing his protests. He feels like he can’t  _breathe_ , can’t fucking-

everything is- it’s  _so_ much- Jake is grabbing at his hips, pulling him up, yanking at him and it’s driving his cock in  _deeper_ and rougher- and Dirk can’t grab onto what’s happening.

Jake’s calling him  _honey_ and it’s stoking a terrible fire in Dirk’s belly as he’s fucked into. Everything feels off-kilter, hot and strange and he feels like he should be protesting but he can’t string words together, can’t do anything but gasp.

Jake’s thrusts get harder, jolting into him and his thighs are shaking, trembling- he- he doesn’t  _know_ why he’s so wet, why he’s getting so hot and close to the edge. “N-” he gasps, shaking his head, “J-Jake-”

  
  


“Relax, Dirk, don’t hold yourself back!” His smile breaks out to a bigger, more encouraging grin. He thrusts one last time into his sweet dame’s pussy. A jolt runs down his body, and he comes hard into him.

With this much, he’s certain he’ll be full with child. It’s Jake’s only chance for a while, so he has to make sure of that. Jake holds himself inside Dirk for a few more seconds, but then eventually lets him go. Dirk looks so tired, after all.

“Ah, good girl,” Jake praises quietly, with a soft, chaste kiss on the cheek. “Satisfied?” He doesn’t need an answer. Dirk’s body says it all. “Stay right there now, no moving around. I’ll head out to the store and get your Plan B right lickity-split.” Another brief kiss, this time on the lips. Jake can’t help but rub Dirk’s undoubtably sore pussy, too. “Long as you don’t need anything 'fore I go, that is!”

  
  


Jake thrusts in and  _stays_ and Dirk gasps wetly, his head snapping back. He trembles helplessly as he feels the heat pump into him, his skin crawling and cold sweat breaking across his body. Jake’s- oh fuck he feels like he might be sick? He  _really_ doesn’t want to even risk a pregnancy, but here they are-

Jake’s gonna get him plan B. It’s alright. He’ll be alright.

His eyes are squeezed shut as Jake pulls out, and the moment his dick is free all of the tension drains from his body and he shudders.

_Good Girl_ . Dirk’s heart drops through his chest as his pussy  _throbs_ , clenching. The sensation sends him reeling as he snaps his gaze up to Jake, a familiar trembling coming over him and Jake is  _touching his cunt_ and rubbing it and he-

"Jake-  _Go._ " He chokes out.

  
  


Jake kisses Dirk one last time and finally lets him go.

“You got it, love.” As if there hadn’t been any fight, any aggression at all, Jake gets up and dresses himself. “I won’t be long, promise!”  
  
  


Dirk has always been self-destructive. Jake is just grateful that he’s here to keep his ‘boyfriend’ from hurting himself too much. With their friends and those quacks giving him hormones buying into all this ‘transgender’ nonsense, now Jake remains the sole remaining bastion of common sense. The solution to Dirk’s self-hate isn’t destroying his body! He’s a beautiful young lady, who needs a  _real_ man in his life to make him- to make her a happy housewife. He can’t wait to see her full with child, breasts free, delicate little hands against his chest. She’ll be a good girl, who knows her proper place in their household. Beneath him, ready to please, domestic and demure.

If course, 'til then, he has to play along enough so as to not upset Dirk into running into the arms of her enablers. He’s got to think ahead, got to outsmart her wily ways.

He’ll get some Plan B, and he’ll get some painkillers too. He’s got to read the instructions, make sure Dirk doesn’t suspect a thing. Oh, won’t it be wonderful? They’ll say it’s a miracle baby, it must be what Dirk really wanted after all.  
  
  


“Dirk? Bro? I’m back.” He pokes his head into their bedroom, hoping to find him there. In his hands are a bottle of water and the casing for the pills, opened and replaced with similar, unmarked round white pills.

  
  


The moment the front door of their apartment closes, Dirk lets himself shake apart, panic leeching through his veins. He’s damn-near hyperventilating as he scrambles for the tissues, cleaning himself up as best he can.

_Good girl._ Jake’s voice, so gentle and loving, echoes in his head. It’s fucking him up how  _hard_ his core is throbbing, even as he sweats at the words, even as he shivers- his dick is  _aching_ .

He shoves two fingers into himself and  _moans_ , choking the noise off.

_Good girl._ This is fucked up. He’s not-  _why did Jake say that_ , why did he-

Dirk collapses onto his back, his hips jolting and fucking up into his hand, writhing as he gasps and shakes. The panic through him is making every touch so fucking  _sharp_ , heightening every sensation- and his toes are fucking curling, eyes blurring as he fucks himself onto his fingers.

_ Good  **girl.** _

Dirk cums with a sob, heart thudding painfully, the orgasm wracking through every inch of his body. Fuck- fuck he’s so fucked up, he’s a  _man_ , he’s not a girl, his skin is crawling and he’s got his boyfriend’s  _cum stuffed inside him_ , inside his cunt-

He collapses back onto the bed, legs shaking, about ten seconds away from launching into a dissociative state. Fuck. He needs- He needs Jake to come lie on top of him, he needs to feel grounded.

With a herculean effort, Dirk finishes cleaning himself up and hunts down his underwear, pulling it on and collapsing into the bed.

By the time that Jake comes back, Dirk is sweating and staring blankly at the wall, lying on his stomach. He jolts a bit at the sound of Jake’s voice, and pushes up to his knees, holding his hand out.

“Hey.” He says faintly. “Give me that and then- come. Come lie on top of me.”

It’s not the first time, not anywhere near the first time that Dirk’s had a dissociative panic attack- and he’s found the best thing for them is just having Jake drape himself all over Dirk and just letting Dirk feel pressure.

  
  


“Ah,” Jake breathes out. This isn’t an unfamiliar scene. He approaches the bed and takes out one of the pills, setting it in Dirk’s open hand. “I’ll put the other one over here, you’re supposed to take it in twelve hours.” Jake lays the water bottle on the bed, too, and watches Dirk take the painkiller as though with concern.

When Dirk settles back down, Jake joins him on the bed and presses a hand on Dirk’s lower chest.

“I’m here for you, Dirk,” He assures him, slowly leaning in until he’s right on top of that delicate, weaker body. He never puts on all his weight, just enough to feel a comfortable pressure. Dirk gets a kiss on the jaw, as well as Jake’s hands carefully running through his soft, golden hair.

  
  


Dirk blindly accepts the pill and swallows it down with water, breathing roughly.

_It’s okay. It’s okay. Jake is here_ .

He flips over to collapse on the bed on his back, reaching for Jake. Jake, like the perfect boyfriend he is, settles right in next to him, pressing down on his lower chest and forcing some air from his lungs. Like this, he can’t breathe as deep- and it’s good. It’s good. Jake’s weight sinks into his bones and makes him heavy again.

The kiss to his jaw has him sighing softly.

_ Good  **girl** . _

He flinches slightly, then swallows.

“More.” He breathes, halfway between exhausted and pleading. He wants Jake to fucking smother him into the sheets. He wants to get rid of this weird feeling that’s hanging in the air between them. “Jake- just fucking cover me. Pin me down under those man pecs of yours.”

  
  


Oh, Dirk really isn’t feeling good. Jake complies and presses more of his weight down, still gently playing with Dirk’s hair.

“Don’t let me hurt you, though.” Jake’s voice is soft but stern, a warning. He knows Dirk will take any chance to manipulate his own pain and destruction. “You know I love you, right?”

  
  


Jake’s weight is good. It’s real. It’s here, on top of him. His skin is his skin. His body is his body.

“I wont.” Dirk sighs. Jake loves him. Whatever happened before- it doesn’t matter. Weird things happen. It doesn’t matter. “I love you too, Jake.”

He raises a hand and threads it into Jake’s hair, lightly scratching at his scalp.

“If I turn over will you lie on top of me?” Dirk mumbles. He feels good. Having Jake here feels good.

  
  


This seems to help- usually Dirk likes the pressure, so that’s no surprise. He offers his ‘boyfriend’ a gentle smile as he makes a little request for more.

“'Course, love,” Jake coos in response. “Just tell me if it’s too much. Maybe you should take off your binder so I don’t crush your lungs or anything like that?” He shifts off for a second so that Dirk can move.

He thinks now might be the time to ask if Dirk wants to talk, but he doesn’t want to actually do that. Surely Dirk will twist the conversation and end up with Jake confused and out of focus. Instead he goes with a less… open question might be safer.

“Will you be alright?”

  
  


Dirk hesitates-  _good girl_ still echoes faintly in his ears, but- Jake rarely gives him his full weight.

So he breathes out through the anxiety and nods, because Jake does have a good point- and he reaches down to grab the hem of his binder, working it up and over his head, shaking his head a bit when it finally slips off.

He’s thankful that his chest is small- it means he can largely ignore it and it squishes down easily. He take a couple of deep breaths and then coughs, because that’s what a million and twelve people have told him to do after wearing his binder, and then rubs at his shoulders for a moment.

“I’ll be alright.” Dirk says, and flips over to lie on his stomach, bringing his arms up and folding them so he can rest his forehead on his forearms. “Just. Freaked a bit, I guess.”

The idea of being pregnant makes his skin crawl in the  _worst_ of ways.

  
  


Jake only gets a brief glance at Dirk’s perky little tits, but it’s a nice glance. He can’t wait to see more of them, when they get heavy and sore and sensitive, and their babe is suckling at them. Their! Baby!

“Freaked out? Oh gee, Dirk, I thought we were having a right good time before.” Jake’s actually quite comfortable on Dirk’s back, even if it’s a bit odd, it’s a lot like cuddling, and if it helps it helps. “Far as I could tell, you had quite the orgasm, didn’t you? Don’t tell me you faked that. Or it’s- is it something else? Swear it Dirk, if I did something wrong you know I never mean it to hurt anyone.”

  
  


Jake drapes himself over Dirk and Dirk sinks into the mattress and  _yes, fucking god yes_ this is perfect, is what he needs. His boyfriend’s broad, warm frame covering his back and pressing him down and he can feel all the tension leaving his body.

He feels exhausted, after the emotional roller coaster of earlier and then the dissociative attack following it. He feels like he’s only starting to be  _real_ again now, with his boyfriend on top of him.

“Yeah, I-” He swallows. It feels a little stupid to say _you know I’m a man, right?_ , because- well, of _course_ Jake does. They’ve been dating for so long, now, if Jake was transphobic Dirk would think that it would have come up by now.

He sighs a little. The weight of Jake on top of him is making his brain go fuzzy, but it’s the good fussy. “Just hate the idea of being pregnant.” He says. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me.”

Jake’s so good. He’s such a good boyfriend. Dirk is so lucky.

“And I did cum my goddamn brains out, so I guess it’s okay.” He says.

_Good girl._

A little shiver runs down his spine. He’s a  _guy_ , he’s a man- and yet- the idea of Jake misgendering him should make him want to vomit. But. There’s something… so…

so  _hot_ about the words, being cooed to him so cheerfully.

It’s fine if it’s Jake. Right? Jake knows he’s a man, he’s just trying something fun. He knows that Dirk’s a man.

  
  


Jake nods as though Dirk can see him. “Mm, well, that’s taken care of now.”

He shifts a little, crossing his arms above Dirk’s shoulders, just over his neck. He gives a few seconds of silence while he tries to think of what else to say. “I know feelings aren’t exactly either of our fortes, and I can be a little thick, but you  _can_ talk to me. I’m still working on it, but I’d like to return that too! I just… want to make sure you’re  _really_ happy.”

Gosh, this conversation’s starting to make him sweat. He hopes Dirk can’t feel it, or it’s not too bothersome if he does.

“I really think you oughta get more in tune with yourself. You do all that damn reflecting, but not a lot of listening. To your body, your mind.” Jake taps the back of Dirk’s head playfully. “Has that fake doctor you see talked about that at all?” Jake snorts, already expecting a no. She’s a little spinster with one of those damn liberal arts degrees. Or was it psychology? Is psychology really still a respected ‘science’? Jake would never say all that out loud, of course, even if he hasn’t exactly hidden his distaste for anyone in the mental health field. Dirk likes her, which is what’s important.

  
  


_A little thick_ . Dirk almost snorts. That’s a bit of an understatement, but just hearing Jake acknowledging it is… something. It’s kind of nice. His boyfriend is usually so fucking handsome and perfect that hearing him admit his faults is gratifying.

He is happy, though. Jake makes him happy.

His brow furrows a bit at Jake’s words, confused. Jake’s never hid how much he dislikes therapists and the like- Dirk’s always chalked it up to a distaste for not liking talking about his issues and the idea of someone poking around in his brain.

“You sound like you’re suggesting I start taking up alternative medicine.” Dirk says on a huff, which has the unintentional side effect of squishing his lungs a little more and he has to fight a bit harder to suck in his next breath.

God. It’s so fucking good. Dirk wonders if sometime he could convince Jake to be like this with some toys shoved into Dirk so he can’t get away and has to cum on them while his boyfriend pins him down and tells him nice things.

That sounds really nice. He shelves the idea for later.

“I know you don’t like therapists, Jake, but Felicia does good shit.” Dirk murmurs. “Remember how much of a fucking wreck I used to be?”

God. The year after getting out of Bro’s apartment had been full of absolute shit as he struggled to figure out literally  _anything_ about what he had been suppressing for years. Jake was so fucking patient through the whole goddamn thing.

  
  


“I’m not suggesting anything. I know she’s helped you a lot, especially with your ah, _Daddy issues._ ” That’s something Jake has never wanted to touch with a ten-foot-pole for sure. He’s grateful he didn’t ever have to. But that doesn’t make psychology is a real science! Broken clock twice a day and all that. “All I’m saying is maybe she doesn’t know everything. Believe it or not, there are some things I know about- that’s not limited to film, spelunking, or lovemaking!”

Jake shifts a little, trying to keep his weight comfortably pressed into Dirk’s back even as he does.

“You at least know the reason you came so intensely wasn’t _just_ my incredible dick maneuvering, right?” Really, any fellow intimate with Dirk for even a few minutes would have seen how sensitive that little pussy was. The more she was denied the chance, the more she begged to be bred by a proper stud. It was clearly no small part in Dirk’s attraction to him; Dirk _knew_ in his body that Jake would be able to help him.

  
  


Dirk makes a low noise as Jake shifts, the pressure shifting deliciously across his back.

“I’m not saying you’re an idiot, Jake,” Dirk sighs. His brain is _definitely_ fuzzy around the edges- possibly from minor oxygen deprivation, but that’s fine. “You know things that I don’t, but I’m pretty sure that Felicia knows things that _you_ don’t.”

He pauses. “…yeah, I know.” Dirk admits, after a moment. “Getting fucked there feels good. Of course it does.” His hands grip the bedsheets for a moment, fisting them tightly, before he forces them to relax. “But I don’t  _want_ it there. Not usually.”

  
  


“No, I’m most certainly an idiot. Everyone’s been sure to clear that fact right up for me.” His tone is lighthearted rather than of a grudge as most would be. Jake lives up to the confession, too, as he still hasn’t noticed that Dirk’s not getting as much air as he probably should. “You don’t want what where now? If you mean you’d rather like a proper dick, promise I’m well aware.”

  
  


Jake’s really going to make him say it, huh? Well, whatever. Dirk’s man enough to say some works. “I mean that I don’t usually like getting fucked in my cunt, Jake.” He says.

It’s not like Jake’s dick isn’t the best fucking thing- because it is, it’s fucked Dirk stupid on more than a handful of occasions. Between it’s thickness and Jake’s  _insane_ amount of stamina, Jake making him cum multiple times before he finishes is not unusual.

“But.” Dirk adds, after a moment, begrudgingly, because Jake _does_ have a point, “I’ll admit- when I _do_ like it- it’s… really good.”

  
  


“See, I don’t know about that.” Jake hums and runs his fingers through the blonde hair again. “I think it’s a little more complicated than you want to make it. 'Cause men aren’t supposed to like getting fucked like that, right? You’re letting other people and all those patterns you get wrapped up in to influence how you think of yourself. I _know_ I’m not _that_ special, Dirk.” He smiles warmly, even if Dirk can’t see it. Dirk needs patience and understanding through this, and gosh, he really is trying to balance it all properly, but it’s got to be a continuous effort when dealing with a stubborn Strider.

  
  


Dirk hums in response to the fingers in his hair. Well, it’s more of a sigh, really. But a pleased one.

He mulls Jake’s words over.  _Men aren’t supposed to like getting fucked_ , huh? Dirk though he had largely gotten over his whole reservations towards his ‘liking men’ thing, but maybe he hadn’t. He probably still has some of those lingering feelings around, things Bro beat into him practically from the day he could walk. Great. Yet another thing to talk to Felicia about.

“Yeah, maybe.” Dirk murmurs, not elaborating on what he means, but then adds, “you _are_ special. You’re so good to me, Jake. I’m so fucking lucky to have you.”

  
  


Jake smirks and lets his head fall to the side. It’s good to make any progress. “Can’t argue with that one. You  _are-_ why, especially after how much shit you’ve been through, I could see some dastard trying to take advantage. But I love you, and I’ll be here as long as you’ll have me, promise.” Jake sits up and runs his hand down Dirk’s bare back. “You oughta sleep, babe. Unless you want another round, that is?”

  
  


That’s right. Jake’ll never leave him- because Jake loves him. Dirk sighs a little under the hand down his back.

Well.

He  _did_ take Plan B. And… maybe Jake’s right and he has some hangups? And he needs to work through them?

No time like the present, as Jake always says. Dirk rolls over, reaches out, and pulls Jake into a lazy kiss.

“Come on, big guy.” He murmurs against Jake’s mouth. “Show me that _knowledge_ of yours.” He spreads his legs.

  
  


Ah, Jake has to admit, that poison the doctors feed Dirk really does wonders for their sex life. Jake’s quickly raring to go, lunging right over his delicate little partner.

“Thattagirl, honey,” He murmurs low, seductive. Jake reaches a hand up against Dirk’s neck, not yet applying any pressure, but threatening it with his thick thumb. “Right where a young lady oughtta be- dutifully offering up her greatest assets at her man’s call.” Jake pinches the rare exposed nipple, loving the feel of that perky little breast beneath.

  
  


Jake cages him in completely against the bed and it sends such a dizzyingly hot pulse of lust through Dirk. Fuck, he has  _such_ a weakness for being overpowered.

“Hon-?” His surprised question is cut off by a hand around his throat, turning it into a wordless, strangled moan, his thighs spreading open wider for his boyfriend to settle between. Jake’s nexts words make his eyes go wide, his hands reaching up to shove at Jake’s shoulders.

“Jake, what the fuck are you-? I’m not a fucking-” He hisses a gasp between his teeth as Jake pinches his nipple, body jerking.

Fuck. The stupid fucking dread is back- Jake’s probably just being stupid, but-  _fuck_ , Dirk is weirded out by how fucking wet he is already, just from a handful of words from his boyfriend-

from his boyfriend  _misgendering_ him.

  
  


Jake licks his lips hungrily as he watches Dirk open up for him against her will. She  _loves_ the touch, loves feeling like a proper woman. And that fact is finally starting to sink in.

“That’s it, no more protests. Why don’t you just keep those pretty lips shut altogether? I’ll let you part them only if you want to beg for more like a little harlot. Otherwise-” Jake puts on a little pressure, “Be a good girl, lie back, and enjoy the touch of a real man. Don’t think. Don’t fight. Just _feel_ it.”

Dirk’s dripping between his legs, begging for something to take it and fill him up. Jake doesn’t want to make him suffer long. He regretfully lets go of Dirk’s breast and pulls down his pants, getting them off fully with a little kick. Now free, Jake rests the head of his already-hard cock right before Dirk’s desperate entrance. He hesitates only a second more before jerking forward.

  
  


Jake says  _ keep those pretty lips shut _ , says  _ good girl _ , says  _**real man** _ . Puts pressure around his neck, stealing Dirk’s words. There’s a fog in his head, a desperate confusion that’s sparking like a storm, static in his spine making his body quiver, his legs spread  _ wider _ without his input.

_Don’t think. Don’t fight._ Jake has full control with just a few words and Dirk can’t do  _anything_ . Jake’s voice his filling up his head. Jake, his big, strong, commanding,  _controlling_ boyfriend, holding him down and telling him how it is.

He’s fucking soaked. He can feel it. Jake’s words are hitting somewhere hot and deep and  _shameful_ and it’s making his face burn, his dick throb and beg to be touched.

He goes limp. Jake- Jake’s a  _real_ man. His boyfriend is muscular in all the right ways and can move Dirk like it’s nothing and has a  _man’s_ cock that stuffs Dirk full and makes him cum his brains out.

Dirk could never fuck Jake like that.

Jake shoves his fat, incredible, thick,  _perfect_ dick into Dirk and he chokes out a moan, clutching at his boyfriend’s shoulders instead of pushing.

There’s a familiar self-hatred pulsing in his gut, the twisting of discomfort, of dysphoria rising and trying to claw him apart for not being manly, not being strong and tough and a  _real_ man like his boyfriend-

Dirk hates it. He fucking hates it- it’s not a fucking competition,  _he’s a man_ and his brain knows that but he looks at Jake and, well-

Something traitorous whispers  _**that’s** _ _ a man _ .

  
  


Dirk obeys. When met with a proper man’s power, even the most feisty, stubborn girls will fall in line. Dirk falls into his base desires, spreading himself out, giving access to every inch of the body that he’s worked so hard to hide. He clings onto Jake and moans prettily; his face flushes from more than the regular heat of lovemaking. Dirk begs to be released from his self-made cage, for Jake to keep going, to make him happy as a girl again.

_ She’s _ fucked rough like a whore the rest of the night, choked at any sign of resistance, and praised when she performs well. It’s no wonder members of the fairer sex are nicknamed  _ bitches, _ it strongly reminds him of training Halley when the boy was younger. Not in a negative way at all! Jake may not be stubborn the same way Dirk is, but he  _ is _ patient.


	2. Chapter 2

It’s not quite a scream.

It’s a choked sound that Jake is pretty sure there must be some word for in English for all its vastness as a language. Whatever the name for it, Dirk makes it, loudly, following retching in their bathroom, and it wakes Jake up with a start.

It’s been over a month since that night. They don’t really talk about it, but Jake thinks of it constantly, and he knows Dirk must too, in all the ways he moves around Jake, all playfully coy. He  _guesses_ that this is related. It’s about the right time for all their work to surface.

“Dirk? Are you alright, love?”

  
  


Dirk knows he’s been avoiding the problem.

He knows he’s been dodging around thinking about that night. He knows he’s been shying away from Jake, been trying not to think about how his boyfriend took him and pinned him down and  _fucked_ him until he was limp and sobbing, choked out as Jake called him things like  _good girl_ .

He doesn’t want to think about it. Every time his brain drifts there his stomach curdles and he breaks out in a cold sweat. His gut feels hot- his hands shake- and-

and yet-

And yet he’s shoved his hand between his legs more times than he can count and fingered himself until his brain shorts out.

It’s terrifying. It makes his stomach flip and twist and it’s ended up with more days than usual where he’s had to have Jake lie on top of him as he sweats in panic at the feeling of  _having Jake on top of him_ .

The conflicting messages from his own fucking brain have been  _driving him fucking insane_ . He’s about ready to tear his hair out.

And that’s when things when from upsetting to  _terrifying_ .

He’s started feeling nauseous in the morning. The weirdest of smells make his stomach turn. His chest’s been more tender.

And then he missed his period.

Dirk stays collected for a week. Just to make sure it’s not late.

Then he panics.

His mind puts the pieces together. He’s sweating a cold sweat as he goes to the nearest drug store and picks up a

a

He can’t even think it.

He fumbles with the plastic. He waits.

_Positive._

He doesn’t know what kind of noise comes from his mouth but the room is spinning. He stumbles to the toilet and empties his stomach.

Jake’s voice comes through the door. Dirk can’t really hear what he’s saying. He retches again, clutching the toilet.

" _Jake-_ " He gasps.

  
  


Jake gets up when Dirk doesn’t respond. That’s how a gentleman reacts- quick to get to action when words fail. He enters the bathroom, and immediately his eyes are drawn to a little device on the floor. Two distinct red lines are present on it. They did it.

“Oh, Dirk…” Jake fills his voice with pity, knowing thats what his partner wants to hear, and then follows with what he must. “You didn’t take those pills, did you? It’s okay. I already knew.” He wraps Dirk up with his arms lightly, careful not to be overwhelming while he settles one hand over Dirk’s stomach.

  
  


Jake comes in and Dirk is spitting into the toilet, swallowing thickly. It’s like everything is pitching and rolling, the floor moving like a ship even through they’re not at the ocean.

Jake wraps him up in his strong,  _safe_ (are they?) arms and soothes him. But.

“What?” Dirk trembles as Jake puts a hand over his belly. Over where he’s-

_Fuck._

“No, I- I took them, I know I did, I wouldn’t have forgotten-” Dirk gets out, shuddering.

  
  


“No,” Jake says, low and almost sad. “I _saw_ you stash them behind the headboard. You don’t have to hide that anymore; I’m not upset, promise. In fact-” Jake releases Dirk from his embrace and stands up fully. He pulls Dirk by his shoulders away from the toilet, disregarding the mess on his lips, and pins him up against the wall with a strangely threatening smirk. “I think it’s charming. You really didn’t have to go such a roundabout way to be my little wife, but it’s quite alright. Any girl’d be nervous to have a man take her greatest treasure without at least a promise ring. And that is my guilt.”

Jake knows Dirks won’t take this being said so plainly well. That’s why he has Dirk pinned up solidly against the wall, and why he  _must_ use a few little white lies. It feels so dirty, so un-gentlemanly, but he loves Dirk too much not to do this for her.

  
  


What? No. No, that’s not true. That’s not true- Jake gave him the pills. He took them.

_Didn’t he?_

His head is spinning as Jake presses him against the wall. “I’m not-” He’s choking on his words, on the terror that’s rising inside of him. “Jake, stop, I’m not- I’m not a  _girl_ . Get-” He forces his hands up between them, trying to push at Jake’s chest, get him off, but he feels so fucking weak and helpless that he can’t muster up any strength. The room is spinning and the only anchor points he has are the wall and his boyfriend pressed up against him.

His boyfriend, saying things like  _wife_ .

“Get off me.” Dirk gasps.

  
  


“No, that’s enough.” Jake dismisses firmly as he holds his partner steadily in place. “I’ve indulged your play at being a boy for years now. You’ve had your fun. It _was_ fun, being gay with a little girl. But it’s high time we move on. You know what you need. That’s why you didn’t really take that Plan B, and that’s why you asked me to fuck you like a woman. Listen, I support you, no matter what. You haven’t done anything permanent yet, and I’ve enough saved to take care of you.”

He smiles, so genuine in the attempt to sweetly reassure his partner.

“It’s okay. You can relax. You can be honest, now.”

  
  


Dirk thinks he’s going to be sick again. Maybe if he does his boyfriend will back off.

_Indulged_ .

This whole time? It was all a lie. Jake doesn’t think he’s a man at all.

"Jake, baby,  _please-_ " Dirk chokes out, feeling panic starting to set into his limbs, tears burning in his eyes. “Don’t- don’t say that. I’m not a- you-”

He’s trying to squirm away, trying to get leverage and push Jake back but he can’t get an inch. Jake’s too strong, got him pinned too well.

Jake’s smiling so gently. Like there’s nothing wrong with what he’s saying.

It’s like the whole world’s gone mad.

" _Please_ , stop this." Dirk begs. He tries to twist, to work himself out from Jake’s hold, but the action has his hips shifting and he goes pale as something register.

He’s.

He’s  _soaked_ down there. Why? What? No, what? Why? Jake’s misgendering him and telling him all these horrible things and that their relationship is build on a  _lie_ and his body is deciding to get  _turned on by that?_

  
  


“Now, honey, don’t hurt yourself. You’re not made for fighting.”

Jake’s hold doesn’t budge, even as Dirk fights with everything he has.

“You’re not a… what? Not a girl? How long are you planning to keep this up, then? You’re pregnant. More than that, you _wanted_ it. I don’t know world you grew up in, but in this one, I’m afraid to tell ya, boys don’t tend to do that. Boys don’t have any of this, either.”

Jake slowly, carefully releases Dirk. His left hand cradles Dirk’s breast while his right reaches below the waist and-

_Well, boy howdy!_

Jake knew Dirk enjoyed being feisty, but this is a whole new level of coquettishness. Gosh, Jake really can be such a dolt! He’d be more upset Dirk was valuing this little game of pretend over a serious discussion if he still thought Dirk actually believed it. Now he’s just amused.

“Oh, you’re a riot. Acting the temptress and then playing offended! And here I was about to fall for it.” He sighs pleasantly. “You ought to work on being a tad less convincing.”

  
  


_You’re not made for fighting._ That shouldn’t hit as hard as it does. Dirk’s had a sword in his hand his entire life. He can’t rememer a time where it wasn’t expected. His own feelings on that are complicated and messy and yet, despite all of that, Jake is pinning him effortlessly. Saying  _You’re not made for fighting._

It makes something inside his chest sob in relief. It makes something else shriek in terror.

He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to be pregnant. He’s a man. He’s a man.  _He took the Plan B._

_Didn’t he???_

His thoughts shudder and fall apart as Jake cups his chest, reaches down and finds his soaked cunt. Dirk squeezes his eyes shut.

“I- I’m not-”

Everything is falling apart so fast- he feels like everything he thought was rock solid under his feet is sand and Jake’s the tide washing in and wiping it out. He’s not being- Dirk’s not- there’s such  _heat_ in his stomach even as his head spins, even as his heart shrieks in protest. His hips are rocking into Jake’s touch, even as he keeps trying to push Jake away.

“Please.” Dirk whispers, his throat tight. “Jake. Baby. Don’t do this.”

  
  


“Sure,” Jake hums playfully, dismissively while Dirk bucks into him. “You’re not…? Hm? Is my baby girl losing her words? Tsk tsk, Dirk~”

He pauses, in thought while he hooks up his fingers up into the sweet little cunt that begs for him. This won’t do at all. Not the cunt- the name. It just seems silly to say now. Not really a proper, traditional name for his wife full with child.

“No, let’s go with Diana now,” he muses softly. “Like the princess. She was a good woman too, tragic.” With two boys. Jake wants a boy, a strapping young lad, with his Diana’s golden hair and his own green eyes. Of course, he’s flexible.

Jake lets the hand that had Diana’s breast move down to her stomach.

If it’s a girl, they’ll just keep trying. They’ll have so many chances, after all, Jake won’t let her go six months a time without a child in her, that’s for certain. He’s just  _got_ to let his family know of this soon, the wedding planning will have to go fast- but well, he had expected as such with the way his Diana tends to be.

  
  


Jake shoves his fingers up inside Dirk and Dirk shudders, clutching at his shoulders. It sends a hefty pulse up his spine, making him tremble.

“N…no…” He squirms, going up on his toes, but Jake’s thick fingers don’t give him an inch and now he’s stuck up on his toes, pressing into the wall.

_Diana._ Jake is  _renaming_ him. Dirk holds back a sob, so so so thankful that Jake doesn’t know his deadname. He doesn’t know that he could take  _that_ .

“Jake…” He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know how to stop this. Jake’s hand is on his belly, his fingers inside his cunt, he’s saying all these things and Dirk is fucking gushing like a goddamn faucet, his own fucking body betraying him.

He wants this to stop. He wants this all to stop. His cunt is squeezing down on Jake’s fingers, like it’s trying to suck them in and Dirk-

Dirk. Dirk just wants this to stop. Maybe if he gives Jake what he wants, he’ll stop.

“Jake.” Dirk squeezes his eyes shut. “You really- you want me as your- your. Wife?”

  
  


Diana squirms and whimpers and gushes all over him. It’s a lovely sight. It’s finally, actually his girl.

“Oh, Diana, yes. Of _course_ I do. I’ve been dreaming of the day you admitted it too. And from here on out, I really am _not_ going to have you acting so unladylike outside the bedroom. It’s unbecoming.”

Jake rather suddenly releases Diana from his grasp in every way. He licks off his fingers, not really paying them much attention while he looks over his girlfriend’s pretty, disheveled body.

“After all, I’m the man of the house. I understand you’ll need time to adjust, but I want to make myself very clear, Diana.” Jake takes a second to suck on his middle finger before popping it out of his mouth. “I will not have the love of my life a single mother, and if you have any ideas of killing my child, I’d sooner have to shoot us both. You’re going to quit your work. You’re going marry me in an off-white dress.” Pure white is for virgins. “You’re going to take on the rest of the woman’s work about the house and rear our children. You will spread your legs only for your husband when he demands it. You will not even leave our home without my permission. Do you understand, my dear?”

It’s hard to be so rough with her, but after so many years of playing pretend, he worries they’re nearly starting from scratch.

  
  


Jake lets him go and pulls back and Dirk slumps against the wall, thighs trembling. He watches as Jake licks his hand clean, cunt throbbing with a desperate need to be  _fucked_ .

Jake.

Jake’s threatening to  _kill_ him.

Dirk goes pale. If he tries anything, if he tries to- (he can’t even think if- he couldn’t ever- do  _that_ to Jake, even if Jake is being- like  _this_ , he still  _loves_ Jake)- if he tries to get an abortion-

Jake will kill them both. Dirk’s seen his practice targets. He’s a crack shot.

Quit his job. Marry Jake in a dress. Take care of the house. Spread his legs for Jake.  _He doesn’t get to leave the home._

Jake wants him to be a pretty little housewife, barefoot and pregnant.

Dirk’s eyes burn with tears. Why was he so stupid? Their finances are merged. Their name is on the lease together. They have joint credit cards.

He won’t be able to run. Jake would cancel all their debit cards and ruin Dirk’s credit. Dirk would have nothing.

He lowers his gaze.

“Yes, Jake.” He whispers. “I understand.”

And despite everything, his cunt still throbs. Desperate to be touched.

  
  


“Whew, glad that’s settled!” Jake crosses his arms and grins. “Haha, sometimes you get me feeling so nervous, Diana. Now what do you need, honey? You want your man’s dick again? Just so excited about our little one, aren’t you?” He laughs, so very much as though the dark scene he’d created seconds ago had never occurred at all.

Ah, he loves her so. Finally things are  _normal._

  
  


_Leave me alone_ . The words leap to his tongue, but Dirk swallows them back. Jake’s voice is back to being that kind, boisterous tone he’s used to. But he’s calling Dirk  _Diana._

His new name. Dirk swallows back the tears. His cunt fucking aches with each reminder that Jake gives him of his new status as Jake’s pretty little  _ pregnant  _ _**wife** _ _. _

Fuck. He really really just wants to be held right now- and he’ll even take it from Jake.

“Can I wash my mouth out?” Dirk asks. “And then. Could you…?” He presses a hand down over his crotch. Please don’t make him say it. He so _desperately_ wants to be fucked- maybe a few orgasms will help each the terrible ache in his chest.

  
  


“Yes, you may,” Jake permits. He has to lean himself against a wall a second. His sleepiness is catching up to him, now that the stress is over and the longtime elephant in the room has finally been addressed. “I would be overjoyed to make love, but I think I need a coffee first.”

He makes no move to get himself some. The days of doing half the women’s work are over, and thank the lord above for that. Of course he’ll be patient, though; Diana must clean herself up and take care while she carries their baby first.

  
  


Jake doesn’t leave, which is… fine. Dirk slips past him to the sink to rinse his mouth out and brush his teeth to get his of the puke taste. He takes a deep breath and looks at his shades on the mirror lip. Would Jake take them from him? He has a feeling he will. He- fuck. Everything fucking  _hurts_ . He’d rather put them away himself instead of having Jake steal  _his fucking shades_ from him, too.

So he takes them and gently tucks them into the bathroom cabinet with a thick swallow before sorting his clothes out and turning back to Jake.

“Alright.” He says, and presses himself into Jake’s arms, hugging his… his boyfriend tightly, arms sliding around Jake’s waist as tears burn in his eyes, pressing his face to Jake’s shoulder to hide them. He just has to cooperate for now. He’ll figure out what to do later.

Okay. Fuck. Be the housewife. Treat it like it’s ironic. That it’s his choice. That’ll make it more bearable, right? It’s just some stupid fucking roleplay they’re doing. They’re having a fun little game where Dirk is ironically being a housewife and Jake’ll be his good, strong husband and-

what the  _fuck_ is wrong with his body?! That idea made his cunt fucking  _throb_ holy shit he wants off this goddamn ride.

“Want me to make you a coffee?” Dirk asks softly into Jake’s neck. Be the housewife. Do the thing.

  
  


Diana takes off her glasses, letting Jake have a hazy moment to admire her face undeterred in the mirror. All it’s soft curves, pale but with a sprinkling of freckles now fully visible, and such gorgeous lashes. Why, whoever did he think she was fooling? What a rascal!

When she’s cleaned, she returns to his side and makes her gratefulness clear with a hug. Jake kindly returns the gesture.

“I would love that, my darling. Thank you. Bring it to the bedroom, will you?”

  
  


Jake hugs him and for a moment Dirk can pretend that everything’s okay. That it’s fine, his boyfriend loves him and treats him like the man he is. He can breathe and smell in Jake’s masculine, reassuring scent and feel safe.

And then Jake opens his mouth and that illusion shatters. Dirk nods into Jake’s shoulder.

“Okay.” He hesitates but presses a kiss to Jake’s jawline before slipping from the bathroom.

He goes to the kitchen and starts making coffee. Halfway through, his has to brace himself on the counter and hang his head as tears start to roll down his face, silent and thick.

Fuck. Everything’s gone to shit. Why didn’t Dirk see any warning signs before? What changed? Where did his boyfriend go? Dirk wants to say that it feels like a stranger’s suddenly taken Jake’s place, but asides from the… misgendering, Jake doesn’t  _feel_ any different.

Dirk allows himself to shake apart in terror and frustration for a couple of minutes as the coffee brews and then he hunts down a tissue and wipes his face and blows his nose.

He makes up Jake’s coffee how he knows Jake likes it, and then, knowing his face is still splotchy and red, comes to the bedroom with the cup in hand.

“Here, Jake.” Dirk says quietly, offering it to his boyfriend. Who, despite everything, _despite_ what he’s doing…

…Dirk still looks him in the face and knows that he loves him.

  
  


Jake soon finds his way to the bedroom and preps himself for a good old-fashioned session of lovemaking. His cock’s still- always, really- raring to go, that’s no concern. But he stretches and makes certain he looks fine enough. He hardly needs to strip further, since he sleeps in his undergarments.

When she comes to join him in the bedroom, Jake takes a moment to look over his beloved. He’s grateful she’s taken to her proper place so quickly, but isn’t ready to let his guard down yet. He knows there will be hiccups, and he wants to assure she adjusts in a healthy way, so as not to cause rifts between them later that could have her possibly fall back into old patterns. That’s just how thoughtful Jake is. A gentleman protects his lady, and he intends to do that for his Diana, forever.

“Thank you, love.” Jake takes the coffee and has himself the smallest sip. It’s perfect. He smiles up at her and has his free hand hold her waist. “You know just how to please your man, honey. Here, you can sit yourself down while you wait.” Jake pulls his little briefs away and makes himself open for her while he finishes his coffee. After all, from right here he can smell the desperate fragrance of her cunt. Poor thing shouldn’t have to wait to have herself filled up after all the stress of this morning already.

  
  


Jake’s sprawled out on their bed like a king, stretched out and ready for Dirk. His hand on Dirk’s waist makes goosebumps break out along Dirk’s spine- and  _honey_ makes him swallow thickly as his cunt clenches in response.

Every single word Jake speaks to him is a clear indicator of what he expects, how he sees Dirk- a housewife, meant to please him. Obedient.  _Feminine._

Jake tugs his briefs down and gets his dick out and Dirk feels like he gets  _wetter_ \- at this point it’s just an ingrained response to seeing his boyfriend’s dick, but that doesn’t stop the shame, either, as Dirk strips down and slides onto the bed.

His chest bare. If he looks down, he won’t have to see it. He can pretend.

“Thanks, Jake.” He murmurs, not really entirely there. Normally he would claw his way to reality, out of his disassociation- but right now, he doesn’t doesn’t want anything else.

He straddles Jake’s hips, reaches down, and finds Jake’s perfect dick- and slowly sinks down onto it, filling his cunt up until their hips are flush and Dirk is trembling at the feeling. Jake’s dick has  _always_ filled him up to the breaking point, hot and throbbing and fat, pressing him open- and this time is no different, Jake’s dick carving it’s space into his body and staking it’s claim as it’s head presses against Dirk’s cervix.

This is the dick that got him pregnant.

The idea makes him clamp down as his body goes hot, a stuttered breath leaving him as he leans back, bracing his hands on the bed. He doesn’t want to make Jake spill his coffee, after all, that would probably hurt them both.

But  _fuck_ is Dirk stupid horny right now, most everything that’s happening is hitting a very very very secret set of kinks that he’s never had the chance to come clean to Jake about- and he wishes he could have this entire situation only without his boyfriend completely denying who Dirk is.

So he leans back and braces himself and, with a low, shuddering sigh, starts to slowly rock his hips, just a deep grind that keeps him filled up with his boyfriend’s dick, trying to haze himself out with pleasure so that he can stop thinking. So that he can stop having to face the situation and what Jake is doing to him.

So that he can stop thinking about how he’s pregnant.

  
  


Jake watches as he takes another sip of his coffee. Diana sits herself down on his cock and he loves how he can tell every time that it pushes her cunt to the limit. There’s no sight better in the world.

Well- Diana directly beneath him, maybe. He’s in no rush though, he’ll have that soon. Diana pushes herself against him in a steady, slow rhythm, enough to adequately profess her yearning but not so much to have Jake off-balance. When he finishes enough of his coffee to be properly out of his morning haze, he sets the mug aside and gives his future wife his full attention. He pushes the both of them forward so that ~~Dirk~~ Diana is on her back. She clearly wants him to be a little rough with her now, and he never minds obliging with that. Jake kisses her deeply while he picks up the pace, thrusting into her like she doesn’t already carry their child. Her tits finally shake freely, every other second pressing against his own chest. It could be a dream, were he not feeling each moment so clearly.

  
  


Dirk lets himself rock slowly and firmly as Jake finishes his coffee, his eyes closed, just letting his boyfriend’s dick work him open and deep.

His eyes flutter open as Jake shifts and Dirk is helpless to resist as Jake sets his cup aside and pushes Dirk down onto his back.

Dirk squeezes his eyes shut again as Jake presses him down into the bed, wrapping his arms around Jake’s shoulders and clinging to him.

Fuck.

Jake fucks into him so goddamn good it’s almost enough to wipe everything else away, setting a pace so hard and fast as he kisses Dirk, working him up towards that edge unrelentingly until Dirk has to gasp for air and shove a hand down between them to rub over his dick, desperate to cum.

“Jake-” He moans, legs shaking as he’s fucked into so fucking _perfectly_ , fuck, Jake’s dick is too fucking perfect, shoving every other thought from his head other than the overwhelming need to get _fucked_. " _Please_ , baby, I’m so fucking close-"

  
  


Diana gets there quick. Jake has to admit, it does fuel his ego at times. This is one of his most important skills to have refined as a good husband, so to be clearly so impressive for her is encouraging. They’ll have no problem making themselves a little army of children so long as this keeps up.

“You got it, honey,” murmurs Jake lovingly. He increases the power of his thrusts until he feels her body shake, and then he releases with her, letting his warm cum fill her already full body again.

Then he starts up again in seconds- unbothered by the sloshing inside her. “Ah, Diana, you’re heaven-” And then he carries on until he finishes again. He watches their face, ready himself to keep going, but aware that perhaps they would rather be done. Jake’s a thoughtful man like that.

  
  


Jake fucks him good and hard right on into Dirk’s orgasm- and as Dirk is clinging and gasping his way through it, he feels the heat blooming inside his cunt, the deep heat that means that Jake came inside.

There’s an instinctive spike of panic, which is followed by a dull wave of  _too late for that_ , then a rocketing surge of lust that overtakes him as, despite the fact that he just came, Jake continues fucking into Dirk anyway.

Dirk can do nothing but writhe as Jake keeps going, calls the name he’s force onto Dirk, fucks Dirk until Jake cums  _again_ and the feeling of it makes Dirk clamp down, makes Dirk tremble as her-

as  _his_ boyfriend fills him with heat.

“More.” Dirk begs, so close to another orgasm- desperately, _disgustingly_ wet around Jake’s dick. “Jake, baby- I’m- I want-” His words are fumblingly falling from his mouth, but he manages to string them together. “Don’t wanna think- fuck me until- till I’m stupid-”

He just wants to lose himself in the haze of sex and ~~being bred~~ his boyfriend’s love as it’s fucked into him, as Jake shows him the most concrete thing Dirk has to cling to- spreading his legs to feel good.

  
  


Oh, Jake would surely be a fool to turn down his dear wife-to-be. He kisses his Diana roughly again, knowing how excited they get by struggling to breathe and just loving how close they are. She is.

She’s made it very clear that she wants to get fucked silly, so Jake holds back no more. Every motion is wild, abrasive, borderline uncaring. Of course he really does love her- but this is one of the few times when he can be as aggressive as he likes, let out the bloodthirsty predator that lurks in every man. He finishes inside her a third time- not letting her take a breath through it- then a fourth time- with a long, heavy groan- and he still goes on. Pushing into her like it’s possible to get deeper, for her to get wetter, for there to be more animalistic passion in him than there already is. His fifth comes the weakest, and it’s with that that he decides he’s done. Jake takes a deep breath, sits up and pulls his cock slowly out. His dark hair, messy and damp with sweat, is pushed back into place, and then Jake takes a moment to look down at Diana again.

She looks a…  _little_ tired. Jake smiles sheepishly and scoots back further off.

“Mmm, hon, was that all you hoped for?”

  
  


Dirk asks and Jake  _delivers_ \- he always does when Dirk wants to be fucked into next week. His unrelenting thrusts, the heat being fucked into him from the inside out, the hand on his throat, stealing his breaths- it’s all so much, it’s all so perfectly, perfectly overwhelming as Jake fucks Dirk into his place, beneath his boyfriend as Jake never even pauses for a moment, even as Dirk cums again and then again and then  _again_ -

Fucked right on through sensitivity into brain-numbing levels of pleasure and oh, fuck- fuck- Dirk will do anything for Jake as long as Jake doesn’t stop, he gives him another, he makes Dirk cum so hard that his brain shuts down, he’ll do anything for it-

He’ll be Jake’s pretty little wife as long as Jake makes him  _cum_ he needs it he needs it- he doesn’t want to think, Jake fucked a baby into his belly and now it’s too late- Dirk’s already  _pregnant-_

The fifth time Jake cums, Dirk cums with him, eyes rolling back and choking on his pleasure, choking on the feeling of being Jake’s girl, of being  _Diana-_ He doesn’t want it but Jake makes it  _so good_ Jake makes him into something soft and small and submissive and his brain isn’t working so his heart takes over and it begs for Jake to make everything okay, to take Diana and protect her she doesn’t want to fight anymore-

_You’re not made for fighting-_

Jake pulls back and Dirk collapses to the bed with a low moan- he’s been pumped full of Jake’s cum and now he’s stuffed full and his hips ache and his brain is in a soft, fuzzy space where nothing matters.

He manages to nod and make a little ‘mm-hmm’ noise at Jake’s question, panting and shivering with the aftershocks of pleasure.

“Jake.” Dirk manages. “Hold me?” He wants his boyfriend to hold him. He’s been stuffed full of electric pleasure and now just wants to ride out the fuzz in his brain as long as it’ll last.

  
  


Diana’s satisfied, and that means Jake is too. He smiles tiredly and kisses her forehead.

“Of course I will, my love.” He brings Diana in and protectively wraps his arms all around her little, defenseless body. “You’ve nothing to worry about any more, I swear it.”


	3. Chapter 3

Jake didn’t know it then, but he would regret those words. To give his Diana a false sense of security was never his intention. Of course, who could predict-

Jake’s out at work on the wildlife preserve, leaving Dirk behind with the simple expectation of supper when he returns in the evening. It’s around noon now, Thursday into the first workweek Dirk’s been kept at home.

And there’s a knock on their apartment door. It’s loud, insistent, angry even, if a knock could be described as angry.

  
  


Dirk’s settled well enough into the new routine. It’s… surprisingly easy. Jake expects a handful of things, coffee in the morning, being cooked each meal, and the house staying tidy.

He spent the first two days of it in a petulant silence- but on the third day he was close to going stir-crazy at being stuck inside and cleaned the entire kitchen in a frenzy.

Jake had fucked him so good that night that he sobbed, and as positive reinforcement goes- it was pretty fucking good.

Hey, he might be halfway into dysphoria most of the time, but at least he’s getting fucked so good he doesn’t have to think about it.

Jake doesn’t let him wear his binders anymore- but he promised Dirk that at the end of the week they would go shopping for some “proper woman’s clothes”.

Dirk is kind of scared to find out what that means. He’s more scared to find out if he likes it or not. He’s terrified of what it means that he’s just looking forwards to having something to stop his nipples from chafing on his shirt than he’s upset at having to wear bras again.

(Yesterday he went to the bathroom and just pulled out his glasses and just… looked at them for a little while. Tried to imagine calling anyone and trying to explain what happened.

The shame that burned through him had him choking back tears and tucking his glasses away again. Then he got up and did the laundry.)

The knock comes as a surprise, though- they don’t get visitors like… ever. When he opens the door unthinkingly, he’s more surprised at who’s standing there.

“Ahab?” He questions, looking at his co-worker. Or, well. Ex-co-worker. Jake called on Monday and informed them that Dirk would not be coming back to work. “What are you doing here?”

It takes him a beat to realize that, with his chest no longer bound and in the form-fitting shirt, it’s very very clear that he has breasts. Great. Toss that embarrassment out for the office to gossip about.

  
  


Ahab’s ready to rip into Dirk- he’d been practicing this fuckin’ rant the whole way over. He doesn’t even notice the changes yet, just lets it all out.

“What am I doing here? Oh, you wish you could get away with handing off our project and running. Do you think that’s fuckin’ funny? Stop lookin’ at me like I ate yer goldfish- you’re always smirkin’ like a cocky little shit, hidin’ behind those stupid anime shades and that twink in HR that you buddied up with. I’m tired of your goddamn bullshit.” Ahab takes a breath. He realizes he’s never seen Dirk look so _nervous_ before, not in any of their confrontations. He reassesses the situation, and suddenly notices the obvious.

He stares. Of course he stares.

“The fuck?” The man says, rather dumbly, before slowly meeting Dirk’s eyes again. “Ho-ly shit. Dirk Strider. Top prick of the office.” Ahab steps into his former coworker’s apartment, into his personal space. “Where’s your fuckin’ boyfriend, huh? Here I thought you were just too chicken to call in yourself, but turns out he’s got you _whipped._ ”

  
  


Ahab unleashes a torrent of annoyances onto him and okay, yeah, fucking whatever- it would have been a dick move to dump the project on Ahab and quit, no matter how much of a massive prick the other man was- but hearing the torrent of bitching just irritates the shit out of Dirk.

He’s ready to slam the door in Ahab’s face when Ahab’s expression shifts and his spine turns to ice.

Before he can do anything, Ahab’s stepping forwards and Dirk has to take a step back with the sudden, visceral,  _terrifying_ realization that Ahab is

a

lot

bigger

than him.

“Get the fuck out of my house.” Dirk is very relieved that his voice doesn’t shake. His heart is pounding in his chest-

_You’re not made for fighting_

-and it’s only by some very strong self-control that he keeps his expression flat and stops his fists from balling up. He can feel his face getting paler, though- and can only hope that Ahab doesn’t notice.

  
  


Ahab can’t believe what he’s seeing. Dirk, of all people, has been a girl the whole time. And now he’s clearly decided to become some kind of housewife. It’s laughable. It also pisses him off. This little bitch caused him too much grief to just… run off? Hell no.

“I don’t think so. Already got an alibi set up, in case I got in a fight, you know?” A large hand grips Dirk’s waist and then Ahab kicks the door closed behind him. “What, are you gonna scream? Beg the big bad man to leave? C’mon, let’s give us both a little more respect than that.”

  
  


Ahab grabs his waist and the door slams shut and Dirk’s fear ratchets up to a solid 8 which is about six more than normal. Ahab’s always had a temper and a grudge against him simply for Dirk being better at work than him- and now Ahab has the perfect time and place to get back at him.

Even though Jake’s tried to turn him into a pretty little housewife, Dirk is still a fucking Strider. He’s held his shit back from Jake because he loves him- but Ahab’s  _coming into his fucking home_ and threatening him and no amount of feminizing bullshit is  _ever_ going to make Dirk let that slide.

So Dirk doesn’t say anything back. No, what he does is drive his heel down onto the arch of Ahab’s foot, slam an elbow into his gut, and follow it up with a solid fucking punch to the face, ripping himself away from Ahab.

Where the fuck is his phone- the kitchen, he dropped it on the couter-

Dirk turns and runs.

  
  


Being hit sends a shot of adrenaline through the Ampora man’s system. He came here  _expecting_ a fight; it doesn’t scare him off a bit, even if Dirk’s hits are tougher than expected.

Ahab chases after Dirk, grinning madly through the blood dripping from his nose. His former coworker’s probably going to try something smart, he’s always been like that.

“Whatcha runnin’ for, bitch? Fuckin’ coward-” He finds the back of Dirk’s shirt and pulls him back. His free hand snakes underneath and gets a grip on one of Dirk’s tits. He’s a little surprised by how soft it is. “Damn, I’d love to see the office lose their minds over this. Wonder if Strider’s got a cunt to match these pretties.”

  
  


Dirk can hear Ahab’s heavy footsteps behind him but before he can make it far, the back of his shirt is grabbed and-

And his chest is  _grabbed_ with a big, meaty hand, uncaring of things like  _delicate_ or  _tender_ . As a result, Dirk lets out a startled yelp as his chest is grabbed and pain lances through him.

“Get off, you bastard!” He snaps and jerks his head back, trying to smack his head into Ahab’s nose, stomping down on Ahab’s foot again. His heart is in his fucking throat- Ahab’s a shithead, but he wouldn’t _actually-_

Would he?

Yes. Yes, he would. Dirk’s blood feels like ice. The kitchen is so fucking close and yet- so fucking far away. He needs to get his phone, call 911, call Jake- grab a knife,  _anything_ -

  
  


Defensive, is he? Ahab keeps hold- although Dirk’s struggling isn’t nothing. He’s actually really making a mess of Ahab’s face, but who gives a shit? He can stand the burning pain and dizziness if it means finally getting payback.

Oh, and what payback it will be.

Dirk’s soft little tit is released and the waistband of his pants is pushed down. Goddamn. He- Dirk Strider- even has panties on. It won’t stop being an incredible thing, that the egotistical prick’s a little girl. Ahab runs his knuckles along the little crease in the panties.

“Didn’t expect to see the day I’d call your little faggot ass cute. I don’t think we’ll do any good hanging out like this, though.”

  
  


Ahab is touching him- Ahab is-

“Get the _fuck off me_ -!” Dirk shouts, but there’s a desperate tone of _fear_ that he can’t control, can’t keep out of his voice as he struggles and grabs Ahab’s arm and tries to pull his hand away. "You fucking asshole, get _off-_ "

The fear is making him dizzy- because Dirk knows what’s coming. Dirk knows what kind of a man Ahab is.

Ahab is going to rape him.

When Jake forced him, his body knew who it was, knew Dirk would like it, made Dirk get wet for his boyfriend, even let him  _like_ being forced into things- because Dirk knew that Jake wouldn’t ever hurt him for  _real_ .

Ahab isn’t Jake. Dirk doesn’t feel any arousal or get any kind of slick gathering between his thighs- the only thing he feels is  _fear_ .

  
  


Ahab snarls- Dirk really is stronger than he looks and it’s starting to piss him off. He throws the smaller man down to the floor, but doesn’t give him a second to scramble. Immediately, the Ampora pulls Dirk’s little body up like a ragdoll and ruthlessly drags him into the living area to bend him right over his own couch.

“I’m gonna make you regret every day your arrogant ass tried to show me up, bitch. Gonna make you start beggin’ for me to stop, and there won’t be nothin’ you can do about it.” He lifts Dirk’s legs and rests the feet on his shoulders, making certain that the other man can’t struggle without endangering himself now.

  
  


Dirk wheezes as he hits the floor, all air knocked from his lungs, and he gives a yelp of surprise as he’s promptly hauled up over the arm of the couch and he has to grab at the cushions to get any kind of balance.

“You fucker-” He’s perched precariously, but- he’s not about to just let Ahab fucking _do this to him_ \- This fucker who thinks he can just come into Dirk’s _home_ and try and _rape_ him-

Dirk takes a foot, yanks it forwards, and slams it backwards into Ahab’s chest, kicking off of him and clawing at the couch to haul himself forwards and collapse down onto it.

"Get the  _fuck out-!_ " Dirk gasps, heart pounding in his ears. “You get out of my fucking house, Ampora-” His arms feel like they’re shaking- how long has it been since he’s been in an  _actual_ fight?

_You’re not made for fighting._

Dirk scrambles to his feet, clumsy with panic and a fear clogging his throat, stumbling as he tries to flee again.

  
  


Seriously, how long is this going to go on? Ahab gets more angry every goddamn time Dirk wrecks his chance at holding the upper hand.

“I ain’t going anywhere, asshole,” Ahab growls as he rubs the spot on his chest where Dirk kicked him. “Want me to leave? What kind of idiot do you take me for? You think I’ll just let you tell on me now?” Ahab laughs, With the blood and new bruises forming, especially given the situation, he looks _deranged._ He tackles Dirk down, completely uncaring what happens to either of them, just knowing he has to see it through- and he does.

Neither of them relent, but pure strength eventually wins out.

Ahab makes sure to get pictures when he’s done, of the little office menace sprawled out, naked, bruised, caked in a little cum. Then he’s gone, leaving Dirk to lie on his own living room floor.

When Jake gets back, he knows something’s off right away. The apartment door’s unlocked, for one, and the air is… wrong. Tense. He calls out into their home.

“Diana? Love?”

  
  


_Stop stop stop stop stop stop get off get off get off get off get off get off stop it hurts stop get off it hurt STOP please god please stop STOP-_

_Jake, save me-_

_Please-_

Everything hurts.

Dirk is barely aware of when its over, except for the fact that everything hurts a little bit less. He can feel his pulse beating through his throbbing cheek. His face is wet. His thighs are wet. He hurts  _down there_ . He might be bleeding. He lies on the floor.

His heart hurts.

_I deserved this. Stupid. Stupid idiot. Fucking idiot dumbshit I deserved this I shouldn’t have let him in._

He’s cold.

Ahab took pictures.

Dirk’s life is ruined.

He’s cold. Ahab has pictures. He’ll show them around. Dirk’s done. There’s nothing left for him. Ahab could try and blackmail him. What could he do?

_It’s what I deserve. So fucking stupid. I’m stupid. I’m stupid-_

Ahab could come back.

What’s stopping him?

Dirk shakes. Everything hurts.

_Useless useless pathetic stupid bitch get up, get up get up-_

Like a child, Dirk sobs. “Jake-” he gasps. “Please-” _please come home please Jake I need you_ _**please-**_

He forces himself to his feet.

_Ahab could come back._

He can’t

_He’ll hurt you more._

Dirk forces his shaking legs to move. He stumbles to the kitchen and staggers into the counter, grabbing it. His hand fumbles with the knife block and he pulls out the biggest one.

He collapses. Sitting against the cabinet, clutching the knife, sobbing like a child.

_I’m sorry Jake I’m sorry I’m weak I couldn’t- I- please- don’t hate me, I’m sorry-_

He’s pathetic. Worthless. Couldn’t even fight off a single man. He’s not a real man, he’s pathetic. No man would let himself get raped. Dirk’s pathetic.

_What if it harmed the baby._

Dirk hyperventilates, clutching at his stomach. He’s shaking, sobbing, gasping for breath, clutching the knife like it’s a lifeline, curled in on himself.

_Waste of space waste of space you should just die you should just DIE you pathetic bitch, you stupid fucking bitch waste of space you fucking let him in you should’ve known better-_

Dirk cries and shakes until he’s exhausted, hurting all over.

But, eventually- The door opens and Dirk’s blood goes  _cold_ , bringing the knife up and starting to shake, Ahab is back, he’s back he’s back-

“ _Diana? Love?”_

Dirk’s never been more relieved to hear that name. He gasps and sobs out,  _“Jake-”_

Jake’s going to hate him. He’ll hate him hate him but Dirk  _needs_ him needs to be held needs everything to be okay he needs Jake to tell him it’s okay Jake will hate him, Dirk’s pathetic and worthless and tainted and dirty and let the baby get hurt and

and

and

_please hold me._

  
  


His instincts were right. Diana’s in the kitchen, naked with their largest kitchen knife. Jake’s not entirely sure what- or who the knife is meant for, but he doesn’t like it.

“What in the world?” Jake’s brows furrow in concern. He takes in all the little signs, all the little things that are _wrong._ “Was someone in here? Are they still here?” It takes him an embarrassingly long time, but as he pauses again, it all connects. He knows exactly what happened to his Diana.

Jake’s face darkens.

“Who, honey?” He growls. Without an immediate answer, he rushes off to the bedroom rather suddenly. The man’s back in seconds, gun in hand. Jake gets close, calmly guides the knife away from Diana- and then pulls her into a soft but solid embrace. “Who the hell did this? Did you call the police- augh, forget the police-! Bastards would have him locked up for a year at best.” He lets go, and snatches up a throw blanket from the living room to wrap around Diana’s shoulders. His… non-shooting hand cups one of Diana’s cheeks and brings her in for a quick, soft kiss.

“I’m sorry dear, don’t let me frighten you. I’ll draw you a bath in a moment. Now, tell me _everything._ ‘Long as I’m an English, nobody messes around with what’s mine and gets away with it.”

Jake knows exactly what he has to do. Help his to-be-wife recover and get the information from her, punish the bastard and any of his friends, and then leave this place. He has a house his grandmother left him. He’d always kept it in the back of his mind in case of a need for a wild getaway like this. They’ll go there, and have all the protection of his grandmother’s people. They’ll be safe, still be able to have their wedding and raise their family just as planned.

  
  


Jake’s here. Jake’s strong and solid and good and he’ll keep Dirk safe, he’ll-

_don’t go-_

Jake’s hand is warm and gentle on his wrist. Dirk lets Jake uncurl him, hand going limp and dropping the knife, letting it clatter to the floor. Burying his face into Jake’s solid chest. Weakly gripping Jake’s shirt. Jake’s words are only sort of reaching him, his panic slowly receding in the face of his boyfriend’s comforting presence and scent.

Jake drapes a blanket around his shoulders and Dirk is so so grateful. He feels  _disgusting_ , dirty and worthless and pathetic and Jake is still touching him, is still calling him  _dear_ .

Jake’s casual possessiveness of  _mine_ shouldn’t be as comforting as it is. That’s right. Dirk is Jake’s- Jake will protect him.

So Dirk shivers and pulls the blanket tight around himself. The bruise on his cheek is  _throbbing_ painfully, sensations retuning to him- the cold air, the painful aching in his hips, the wet tear tracks on his face. He tries to swallow and winces- Ahab had choked him out enough to have his head spinning and he has no doubt that the start of a bruise there is forming, too.

“It-” his voice breaks and he has to swallow through the pain a couple of times. “It was-”

He can’t look at Jake. Can’t take it if Jake tosses him away. He keeps his face buried against Jake’s shoulder, squeezing his eyes shut as more hot tears spill from his eyes and soak into the fabric of Jake’s shit.

“I- It- It was- Ahab. From work. He-” Dirk might be shaking.

He can feel something running down his leg. He’s terrified to know what it is.

“He came and- I- I- I was- so _stu-uh-pid_ \- I let him in, _I let him in-_ And he- he- I’m _sorry_ he- I-”

Dirk might be on his way to hyperventilation again.

" _Please_ ." His voice breaks as he presses himself to Jake. " _Please hold me-_ "

  
  


Oh, Diana. Sweet, sweet Diana.

What kind of monster would hurt his girl like that? How  _dare_ he? Jake wraps his arms tight around Diana right as she asks for it.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s not your fault; it would never be your fault.” His voice is a husky whisper, holding his love with his righteous, protective rage. “He violated your body, and he’s not going to get away with it.”

He presses his lips against Diana’s cheek and then lets go. He can’t stand to be still long. Not now.

“Come along, honey. You shouldn’t stay like this.” He runs his hands down her arms, grips Diana by the forearms- the metal of his gun cold against her right- and pulls her backwards into their bathroom. Despite the awful expression on his love’s face, he doesn’t shy away from giving her a little spin. She’s sat on the side of the bathtub. He starts the water for her and then pulls the blanket away.

“Can you get in on your own, sweetheart?”

  
  


_It’s not your fault._ Dirk’s breath is punched out of him in a shuddering sob. Jake’s tone is so so so angry- but his words are soft, tender, reassuring, and Dirk knows that it’s not directed at him, could never be directed at him.

His touches on Dirk’s body are reassuring, careful, and it’s only now that Dirk realizes that Jake is holding his gun, a nervous tremble of fear running through him. Jake guides Dirk into the bathroom, giving him a little spin and Dirk can’t help the shuddering exhale of gratitude at the tiny display of affection, sinking down to sit on the edge and watch as Jake runs the water, the rumbling thunderous start pouring into the tub and sloshing up against the sides, wet and rushing and-

Dirk has to lunge for the toilet, collapsing to his knees to puke as the ghost sensation of Ahab’s hand on his neck squeezes faintly, at the phantom rush of hot breath over his face and neck, hand dropping to his stomach as the sensation of hot and  _wet_ registers between his thighs again.

Dirk shakes, sobbing renewed as he retches, again and again until there’s nothing left, until he’s spitting wet gunk into the toilet and his face is raw and puffy and his throat hurts (it already hurts), and he’s fumbling for toilet paper to try and clean himself up. He nods pathetically, wiping his face. “S-sorry- I can… I can do it…”

He squeezes his eyes shut, grabs toilet paper, and wipes down  _there_ . He swipes until his thighs don’t feel wet and dumps the mess into the toilet and flushes, keeping his eyes shut the whole time. He can’t look. He doesn’t want to see if they’re bloody, if they’re-

He reaches for Jake and stumbles to his feet.

“Sorry.” Dirk mumbles. “Maybe- maybe not.”

  
  


Diana suddenly rushes to the toilet. Jake kneels beside her and rubs her back. There’s no judgement, even if he doesn’t fully understand- his Diana’s hurt. There is no right or proper reaction.

It takes a while. She wipes off her legs, spits up more, and tries to stand. He steadies her as soon as he notices her trouble, and guides her into the bath slowly and kindly.

“I’m sorry, I’m going to go in a minute, love, but I won’t be long. Stay in here until I return.” Jake kisses the top of his partner’s head, rubs his thumb against her cheek, and then stands.

“Ahab Ampora…” He growls to himself as he leaves.

  
  


Dirk sinks into the hot water gratefully. Jake’s touches are so warm, are so-

_Wait, no, don’t go- Jake please don’t go-_

It’s no use. Dirk bites his lip as tears burn in his eyes, sinking down into the water. Jake’s got that expression on his face- the same one that shows up before he vanishes for a week to stay on the reserve or before he flies across the country on a whim. The burning desire to move and  _do_ something.

Only this time it’s so, so angry.

“Okay.” Dirk mumbles into the empty bathroom, his stomach twisting. Dirk wants Jake to be here. He wants Jake to protect him and make him feel safe, kiss him and pet his hair and tell him it’s okay.

Jake’s going to kill Ahab. Dirk knows he is. He’s too possessive and angry to  _not_ do it. The idea of it should horrify Dirk, probably, but the only thing he could think of is  _he won’t touch me again._

Dirk shivers despite the bath being hot. He feels exposed and vulnerable. He doesn’t have anything- doesn’t have the knife, doesn’t have his phone- he’s helpless and his gut is twisting with fear.

It just keeps getting worse and worse until Dirk is forced to haul himself from the bathtub, dripping water everywhere as he stumbles through the house. He’ll clean it up later. It’ll be fine. It’s fine oh fucking  _god_ where is his phone.

He finds it on the kitchen counter. He grabs it, grabs the knife, and retreats to the bathroom on legs that can barely support himself.

He gets back in and sets the knife on the edge of the tub, immediately feeling safer. If something happens- if Ahab comes back- Dirk isn’t defenseless.

He can’t stop shaking, though. He’s not okay. He won’t be until Jake is back.

Oh,  _god_ , Jake is going to kill someone.

  
  


Dirk fumbles with his phone, clumsily unlocking it and opening up his internet, doing a search.

_Plane tickets to L.A._

Maybe they can stay with his brother for a little bit. If Jake’s going to kill someone they shouldn’t- they shouldn’t stay around.

_Jake, please come back, please please… Jake…_ Dirk presses his phone to his forehead for a moment before putting it on the side of the tub and curling on his side in the hot water, wrapping his arms around his waist as he sobs.

He just wants Jake.

Eventually, he slips into a light, uneasy doze, waiting for Jake to come back.

  
  


Jake ends up taking a little longer than he thought- but he comes back home a little over an hour later, simultaneously high on adrenaline and focused on going through all the steps to make sure his family’s safe. He finds a bit of a mess in the apartment- Diana must have disobeyed and gotten up, but he’ll forgive her. He goes straight to the bathroom and finds his love half-asleep there, her phone and that damn knife sitting on the edge of the tub.

“Honey,” He greets softly, hoping not to startle her too much. Jake kneels down and unbuttons his shirt, stained dark red like his face and arms. “Hey, are you ready to get up? Everything’s taken care of now. I’ll pack up everything, all you need to do is get dressed. Sound good?” He pulls his shirt off and uses the inside of it to wipe some of the blood from his face. “I don’t want to rush you, but we do need to leave tonight.”

  
  


Jake comes home and just the faint sounds of someone in the apartment is enough to rouse Dirk from his almost-sleep. He raises his head and looks up at Jake and can’t even muster up a flicker of horror at the sight of all the blood.

Jake took care of it. It’s alright. Dirk’s safe. They’re leaving? They’re leaving. Alright.

“Okay,” Dirk murmurs, relief swamping through him. His hands grip the edge of the tub and he hauls himself up to sit on the edge, reaching for a towel to dry his hands off with. He picks up his phone and unlocks it, holding it out to Jake. “I kinda figured. I thought- L.A., maybe? I’m sure Dave would let us stay there until we figure out… what to do.”

The tickets are selected on the screen, waiting to be purchased. As Jake takes the phone, Dirk grabs the towel properly and starts drying himself off. He still feels sick, but it’s… receding a little, into background noise instead of an agonizing throb.

  
  


Jake assists Diana however possible, keeping her stable as she stands and leaving his hands out for a few extra seconds in case she’s to stumble. Poor thing’s like a newborn fawn, irresistibly vulnerable. Terrible a thought as it is, Jake does think that he understands Ahab to an extent. Diana’s a lovely, lost little girl. And those pictures he found- while enraging- were absolutely gorgeous.

He just should’ve gotten his own, not messed with Jake’s. Oh well, lessons to be taken to Hell, as they say.

Jake arches a brow at the screen handed over to him, perplexed, almost… amused.

“Honey… I told you _I_ took care of it. Anyway, let’s be realistic. We need to get a real house, not move you back into your old Bro’s place. When was the last time you even talked to Dave? Does he know you’ve stopped playing dressup? That you’re pregnant?”

  
  


Right. Dirk’s not allowed to do anything Jake doesn’t specifically want him do. He ducks his head a little bit at the (loving) reprimand, because… Jake’s right.

Dirk  _hasn’t_ told Dave anything. Hasn’t even talked to him in…

In. In a long time. Their last conversation was a bit distant and strained, Dave refusing to admit that he should probably also go to therapy, and so they haven’t… talked since then. Not since Dirk all but demanded it and Dave refused and told Dirk to stop acting like he has any control over Dave’s life and then Dirk went ahead and said-

Well, it doesn’t really matter what Dirk said. The point is that they haven’t talked in months- maybe almost a year, at this point. Dirk’s not even sure that Dave would answer the door if he showed up.

A last, weak attempt to get away, maybe. The death throws of prey in the jaws of a predator. A pathetic hope dying.

“No.” Dirk says quietly. “I haven’t. Sorry, I should’ve- sorry.” He shakes his head and sighs. “I’m just- I’m doing all the _stupid_ things today, I guess.” His throat is tight as he carefully dries himself off, wrapping the towel around his shoulders. “Where are we going?”

He moves into the bedroom easily enough, shivering at the temperature change as he hunts for clothes.

  
  


“It’s alright, my love. You’re not stupid, you’re just a little shaken up, alright? I shouldn’t have been so insensitive.” He stands and walks with Diana, ready to catch her if she stumbles.

Once they’re in the carpeted bedroom, he separates from her, pulling out suitcases and beginning to pack what he can.

“We’ll be going out to a little island- still a U.S. territory. My grandmother left me a house there. I don’t know the state of it, but it’ll be safe. I already contacted an old friend of her’s- he’ll be escorting us there.”

  
  


An island? Dirk’s brow furrows a little bit. That’s… okay, well, that should definitely be safe, but… they’re probably not going to have any internet out there, are they?

He feels a little bit cold. Cut off from the rest of the world, with only Jake for company. He can’t exactly complain, though, can he?

Jake  _owns_ him.

“Sounds nice.” Dirk offers quietly, as he pulls on a loose pair of jeans and a black shirt.

Oh. They never got to go shopping. Something about that makes Dirk’s heart lurch uncomfortably, sadly. He doesn’t know how to handle that- so he decides to ignore it.

He braces himself on the dresser as a wave of vertigo washes over him- but then he’s breathing through it and shaking his head.

“I’ll get some of my things-” Dirk says, and before Jake can say anything otherwise, he slips from the bedroom with a bag in hand. He retrieves his shades from the bathroom and then slips down to his “workshop” (mostly cleaned out, at this point- of course Jake wouldn’t let his ‘wife’ do anything dangerous or unwomanly) and digs through his mass of flashdrives for a couple of programs he had quietly been working on as a way to fill his time when he couldn’t keep doing housework or he’d go _insane._

He slips his laptop into his bag, packs his two external hard drives as well, and then takes a deep breath and sets his bag down…

and goes to a set of storage bins.

If he… if he plays along, then maybe… Jake won’t take this stuff from him with it being ‘unwomanly’.

He opens the bottom one with shaking hands and looks at the cloth bag, untouched for months. First, out of nerves, then, out of revulsion and fear. He pulls it out and opens it. The fabric is soft in his hands, a soft blue, pattered with pretty white polka-dots.

Dirk stands up and gets undressed. His hands are shaking as

_Her_ hands are shaking as she slowly pulls the dress on and smooths it down. Tears prick in her eyes as she retrieves the shoes, low black heels with a strap over the top.

Once, a nervous idea for something to try with her loving boyfriend. Now, a way to play along with something horrible.

She slips her feet into them and packs her clothes away into her bag. Her hair’s been getting a little bit longer, too, so she hunts down a ponytail holder and carefully binds it back, leaving only a couple of locks on either side of her face to frame it.

She takes one last glance around what was once a bastion of creativity, now a hollowed-out shell of a former life. The moment she walks out the door with Jake, she knows she’s not coming back.

It’s with a heavy heart that she steps out and shuts the door behind her with a  _click_ . She has to take a couple of deep breaths to fight back tears, but then she’s going back to the bedroom to find Jake.

“Jake.” Diana says softly, standing in the doorway, bag in one hand, the other nervously wrapped around her waist. “I’m ready to go.”

**Author's Note:**

> Dirk is played by [@LPSunnyBunny](http://www.twitter.com/LPSunnyBunny)!  
> Jake is played by Grenoelle!


End file.
